STARCROSSED

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hey guys..

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final semester.. extremely busy.. no time,.. bla bla bla… well, what else would you expect, right? nothing less. it’s been 4 years, time really does fly i guess.

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you know what? i started this blog to write anything i like, anything thats currently plaguing my head. just things off my mind. i like to write i guess (though i would not say its my passion). maybe its because i like to read. i don’t know really. it’s for myself, and i certainly don’t expect anyone to read it at all. so it really came as a surprise to me when my writings became a hot gossip people talk about. well, you know, about "her". ahaha people, they never had enough. all we want is more. one controversy after another? i would gladly obliged, but that’s really not my intention. some say it’s just the storytelling, they didn’t know who "she" is. they’re in it just for the story, and how i documented it. some, well, in our circle of friends, just curious to know the girl who they thought they knew. of course at first they didn’t know who "she" is, but after the "intelligent" guy insanely wrote her name in the comments, the whole world knew after that. and then the messages came flooding in.. "betul ke die?".. well, people could change. if they could change for better, they certainly could change for the worse. stupid girls, they do that (and i’m glad i’ve known so many intelligent women in my life)….. it’s getting worse, from what i heard. of course what i "heard" might not be entirely true, as i have not seen it myself, but actually that’s the whole point. she once said to me, why she won’t tolerate "dating", because it could "mendatangkan fitnah". and when people said bad things about her that i "heard", she would probably understood that, because what she did could "mendatangkan fitnah". i don’t know if she could remember that far back when she still wore big tudung and decent, loose clothes, but i wonder when all of that speech went into thin air. i heard so many nasty things about her, some unbelievable things. but when you consider how fast she changed during the year, anything possible. dah boleh tgk wayang? kluar malam? dah kluar pegang tangan??? u can’t believe it can’t you.. neither do i. i never saw it, but i "heard". now that’s a cliche, right there ahaha…. you know what? my friends said lets just take care of this guy. this orange-haired guy, who came when she’s vulnerable and corrode her every principles.. lets just give him a lesson or something to think about. she used to be someone respected, and looked-up to by everyone,.. but now everyone’s saying .. "ooo rupe-rupenye die ni macam ni ke…" .. but i don’t blame him. i really don’t. he could come and corrode any girl like her left, that’s his life. for me, you shouldn’t be stupid enough to swallow it. and how stupid is she? well, it’s ok to be in love, but "losing" yourself? that’s a new low. and a disgrace to women too.

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me? well, i care. always will. i’m even deeply concerned at how smaller her tudung gets, and how tighter and fitter her clothes are getting these days. some time last week, a girl friend even said to me that she was shocked to see her dress like that. ahaha, well i know you think that i might like it, you know, being a man, the tighter the better?.. i try to search for sense of "joy" deep inside of me about it…. but i got nothing. it surprises me too, guess i’m really concerned about her. but of course you don’t believe it, and i don’t really care if you didn’t believe it… and she never grew up either. i thought maybe she has matured over the years, but it’s still the same ol’ her. always thinking for herself, and the easy way out. just run. of course to gain respect, you must first respect other person’s feelings. how could she never get that, and always think just for herself? i don’t even know what are her problems now, and it’s been like.. 3 years maybe? but there she was, like the old days… running away. at least when God asked me, i know i’ve tried my best. she just kept running away. does she thinks i’m still in love with her? if she read this she’ll know it for sure. i will always care, and will always be looking out for her. but she’s changed so much that i barely recognized her anymore. all her principles that made me think she was special, now are all gone. now she’s just another girl i knew, who’s been sucked by the wave and drowned herself in this world. and i know quite a number of them too.

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i could rant all night long about hypocrites, but i guess i should stop here.. (well, the game’s about to start..). i tried to keep this to myself, but if i can’t write in my own blog, then what’s the point of having it. of course it would be more convenient for all parties if i could say this face-to-face, but i guess that’s not going to happen (not in this lifetime maybe?). so,whatever. i’m always amused by her ability these days, to further degrade herself even faster than my silver mclaren in NFS Carbon. she has become so cheap, amidst of all the people around her, up to a point that it’s not even funny anymore.

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what a fall from grace.

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fuh, this post is soooo hot that i really, really hope no one’s reading it. well, it’s just a piece of my mind.

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//ps…i guess my phone number is not hard to find. i’m at mahallah uthman, block F 2.8. if anything, contact me. just don’t leave any cowardly comments here, in MY blog. (cowards and hypocrites.. i guess they go hand in hand).

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